Our twenty-something slacker protagonist Seth receives an invitation to visit Richard, the filthy rich half-brother he's never met. Long Lost follows the brothers and Richard's girlfriend Abby as they spend a couple days getting to know each other at Richard's lavish estate. At one point we see an army of landscapers pruning the yard. I found myself wishing the camera would wander away from these three bobbleheads and follow the landscapers instead.

Ten minutes into Seth's visit, Richard already seems like the kind of guy who invites strangers to his house so he can make elbow patches out of their foreheads. He gets weirder but a lot less sinister as the movie progresses. It's hard to take his foreboding demeanor seriously when he invites Richard to play games like Chubby Bunny and Flashlight Tag.

Seth isn't much less off-putting than Richard. When he hears a shower running in a bathroom, he has no compunction about strolling right into it. He watches Richard and Abby have sex from their bedroom door. When he's not being voyeuristic, he's absorbing constant verbal abuse from Richard, which he tolerates because Richard keeps writing him checks.

Abby does everything she can to seduce Seth short of attaching a bungee cord to her pubis. There's a brief scene where we learn that she has some kind of tech job. And that's pretty much all there is to know about her.

The story is numbingly bereft of tension. The plot twist in the last fifteen minutes is kicked-in-the-head stupid. Did Richard really think Seth would be cool with this idiotic prank he's pulling? It's not even worth unpacking to explain how wrongheaded it is, but I'll just briefly mention one point. Richard implies that he's pulled this same prank more than once, so he shouldn't be surprised when it goes wrong. There's no way in hell it didn't go wrong every other time, too.

3 out of 10.

Seen on Tubi.