Katherine Barrese plays Jezebel, a woman who appears in a small coastal town and immediately fascinates the entire population. She refuses to share her age, origin, background, or last name. It's unclear whether she's an amnesiac or just an introvert. Nevertheless, she's given a job at a diner and a free place to stay in less time than it took to show the opening credits.

If you know anything about nineties softcore thrillers, you've already guessed that Jezebel is here to wreak havoc. The heroine's first step is always to ingratiate herself with her targets. In Jezebel's Kiss, this step got a speedrun so we could get straight to the lechery. The second step is always to sleep with her targets as part of an absurd dream logic strategy that will somehow result in their comeuppance.

The way guys act around Jezebel, I imagine she's the only single woman within thirty miles. First some jerk gropes her in the diner, prompting a minor scuffle. Then the sheriff responds to the disturbance and makes a hamfisted pass at her. After work, an infatuated local yokel tries to impress her with his pet snail. (Yes, he's an adult.)

There's a scene that suggests an incestuous relationship between the yokel and his mother. I couldn't ascertain any good reason for this scene to exist. The mother is played by Meg Foster, who still has the most piercing eyes in the history of film. Every time I look at them, I need to take an inventory of my soul.

The yokel is played by Brent Fraser, who bears a slight resemblance to a young Brendan Fraser. To my surprise, they're apparently not related. I considered the possibility that Brent is an alter ego that Brendan uses for embarrassing movie roles; but when I checked Brent's IMDB profile, he currently looks like he could fit inside Brendan's abdominal cavity.

Jezebel goes on a date with the sheriff, culminating in an absolutely bizarre rape scene. The implication is that Jezebel is reluctant but goes through with it because she has a secret agenda. The result is jarringly uncanny. Just an example of how weird it gets: at one point a gun is involved, but Jezebel is the one who brandishes it.

Later the sheriff breaks into Jezebel's room so he can apologize for raping her. She graciously declines to accept. For his next attempt, he should have written "Sorry!" on a brick and thrown it through her window.

Jezebel gets naked with the yokel next. Before her trysts with him and the sheriff, Jezebel told both of them that if they have sex now, "it will never happen again." Is...this her revenge? She'll only bang them once? Is it possible to get banged so exquisitely that you can never enjoy sex again?

Next in the sex revenge queue is the yokel's dad (Malcolm McDowell). He tries to impress Jezebel by showing her his miniature amusement park. (Yes, he's an adult.) When they inevitably jump in the sack, she neglects to tell him that it will never happen again. Maybe she plans to punish him extra hard by having sex with him twice. Anyway, his wife and son both catch wind of it, which is the first indication that the targets of her scorn might actually get hurt by her promiscuity. Sure enough, the dominos start to fall, and in short order Jezebel's absurd dream logic revenge scheme is complete.

The story is peppered with black-and-white flashbacks that reference something that led to the death of Jezebel's father. Nobody cares about the details, least of all writer/director Harvey Keith. He just needed a reason for Jezebel to have sex with a bunch of men, and the obvious answer was that they killed her dad.

Meredith Baxter-Birney has a minor role as...shit, I don't remember.

Katherine Barrese is easy on the eyes, but grating on the hypothalamus. I haven't seen a performance this wooden since Mannequin. Sadly, this movie might not be the low point of her career. One of her other movies was a 1984 Jerry Lewis train wreck that I didn't even know existed.

4 out of 10.

Seen on Tubi.