I liked J. Blakeson's I Care a Lot enough to give one of his earlier movies a look. His skills have improved significantly over the past decade. The Disappearance of Alice Creed is a small-scale thriller that starts with promise and quickly wears out its welcome.

The movie has a cast of exactly three: Danny, Vic, and the titular kidnap victim. We first meet Danny and Vic in the process of soundproofing a flat. Then they mask up and grab Alice off the street. There's no dialogue spoken during this entire sequence. It's a solid opening. I was hooked.

Unfortunately, it's all downhill from there. The rest of the movie is a pile of dumb twists and terrible decisions. Alice gets two opportunities to escape, but the movie keeps her hostage by making her stupid. Danny and Vic aren't any smarter. Contrived exchanges, shifting alliances, and sudden changes of plan serve no credible purpose but to extend the runtime. An hour into it I found myself wishing it would just end already.

When Alice tells Danny she needs to take a shit, he gives her a bucket. He turns his back while she squats. Then she cracks his head with the bucket and grabs his gun. This is where we get the first dumb twist that keeps Alice in chains. Danny takes off his mask. Lo and behold, he's Alice's boyfriend. She had no idea. How does she react? Let's consider the situation. She's been subjected to constant terror, abuse, humiliation, and death threats. They tied her to a bed and stripped her naked. Ten minutes ago Danny held a knife to her throat. If I were her, I would have shot him anyway. Instead, she gives him the gun back. Danny ties her back to the bed and dumps the bucket into the toilet. At first I thought she hadn't actually finished dropping a deuce, but I guess she somehow managed to brain him with a bucket full of shit without splattering the room.

Later there's a scene where Danny's in the bathroom, desperately trying to hide a spent shell that he doesn't want Vic to see. First he tries to flush it, then he tries to jam it down the sink, and finally he decides to swallow it. The scene is entirely bereft of tension because it's just so goddamn stupid. I was left wondering how Danny managed to forget that his clothing has pockets. After all, that's how he kept the shell hidden before he went into the bathroom. Vic becomes suspicious because he heard Danny flush three times, but the bathroom doesn't smell. Yo, what about the shit bucket? Half the apartment should be covered in fecal spray, including Danny and Alice.

Her second escape attempt is exasperating. Danny and Alice are alone in the flat. She devises a reversal of fortune. Next thing we know, Danny's naked and handcuffed to the bed. Alice has his gun again. There's no good reason she couldn't escape at this point except that Blakeson didn't want the movie to end yet. Much like his characters, Blakeson chose poorly.

5 out of 10.

Seen on Amazon Prime.